Racing Games Free: Festival

1:Decorate for Christmas

While it may seem unusual to decorate when you're by yourself, it is a great way to get into the Christmas spirit and lift your own spirits. Choose your favorite decorations, or go out an purchase some new ones if you don't have any. If you enjoy making things, you can also make your own Christmas decorations for a special touch. Put up your tree, hang decorations around the house and string up a garland or two. Put some lights out the front; that way, they can be shared with everyone who goes past.
If you are in a hotel or somewhere that isn't yours you can still decorate with a few bits and pieces; choose items you can either carry home with you or things you don't mind parting with once the day has ended.

Making your Christmas decorations yourself is a fun way to get into the Christmas mood, and also lets you focus on doing something that is unique to your tastes and interests.

2:Play Christmas music.

Prepare a playlist of your favorite Christmas songs, or purchase pre-recorded Christmas CDs. Keep the music playing on Christmas day to help you feel in the spirit. As an added bonus, you can sing as loudly as you want along with the carols and not feel embarrassed!

3:Send Christmas cards or Christmas emails out to as many people as you can

Send cards or email greetings to any family members, mothers father, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, cousins and nephews. Send them to your friends, send them to people you work with, send them to people who provide you services. Send as many as you can; doing this will help you feel like you are sharing Christmas with others. Send the cards or greetings early and you will find that people send them back. Even though you are on your own, you will know others are thinking of you at Christmas.

4:Buy yourself some gifts.


It's normal to buy things for yourself all through the year, so it's just fine to treat yourself at Christmas too. The great thing about buying gifts for yourself is that you get exactly what you want in the color, shape and size you want. Wrap the gifts up using great Christmas paper and put them under the tree to open on Christmas morning. Even though you know what they are, it's still fun to have new special things on Christmas.

5:Plan a great Christmas meal.


Since you are celebrating Christmas on your own, you can serve all your very own favorite foods. This might be as quirky as turkey and ice cream, as functional as pizza, or as traditional as what your Mother used to make when you were little. Anything that takes your fancy. Get your favorite foods, your favorite drinks, your favorite dessert and all the trimmings. Set the table up beautifully with a special tablecloth and candles to make it feel like an extra special meal.

6:Go to church if you normally do this.

This will allow you to spend Christmas with others. Also it will mean that you will think more about the real meaning of Christmas and discover it is just as special whether you have hundreds of people to celebrate with or no one at all. If you are lonely, go to church services at three different churches on the day and see which is your best.

7:Get your favorite DVD of all time to watch, or one you have been dying to see.
Watch this as part of your Christmas Day celebrations.


8:Find an outing that you can go to that is open on Christmas day.

Movies are often open and can be a way of being around others while enjoying a film.

9:Volunteer at a church or hospital or even a jail to help make other people's Christmas special.
This will allow you to be around others and to be helping. It's nigh on impossible to feel lonely when you're helping others and it can help put your own situation into perspective.


10:Plan a peaceful rendezvous with nature.

Go for a walk or hike and be mindful of what you see and experience. How does the air feel? What birds do you notice? What sounds do you hear? Nature has a magical way of putting things into perspective.

10. Yule Doo

There’s nothing wrong with the occasional joke decoration, but only if your sense of humor has progressed beyond that of a five year old’s. If it hasn’t, you’re the target market for Yule Doo.

Get it? It’s poop! Dog poop, to be precise, although anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to buy a feces ornament probably isn’t picky about the type. Yule Doo’s slogan is “When a Tinkle’s Not Enough,” which is to a legitimate joke what being beaten with baseball bats is to playing for the Yankees.

We’re told it makes “a great gift for your dog-loving friends,” because of course the only reason people own dogs is for the fun of picking up after them. A great gift for your coprophiliac friends, maybe. Which is convenient, because that’s the only kind of friend someone who thinks it’s funny to decorate a tree with dog crap will ever have.

9. Fetus

Babies are a common element in decorations, which makes sense considering Christmas is about celebrating Jesus’ birth (and blowing the heads off of zombies in the new video game you got). But why not go even further than that, and decorate your tree with a fetus?

Oh, because it’s disturbing! Well, that answers that.

This ornament is made in “a classic holiday shape,” which is a fancy way of saying that it’s circular. But it doesn’t matter how classic it is, because there’s still a fetus floating in the middle of it. There’s a reason we swoon over baby pictures, but don’t go around trading fetus pics—they’re gross. Who does this decoration even appeal to, obsessive 2001: A Space Odyssey fans?

8. Tootin’ Tushies

Nothing says Christmas like farting reindeer, according to the makers of this decoration and absolutely nobody else.

Look, either your Christmas celebrations are only among adults, in which case nobody will find this funny, or it will involve children, who will find this funny for hours. Is that what you want, huh? You want to listen to a flatulent reindeer toot Deck The Halls all throughout Christmas? You think you can handle that? Forget it; there’d be a murder-suicide by the thousandth fart.

7. Sexy Santa Mug

“Sexy” is a word used very loosely here, as you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who finds a hairy, obese old man erotic, especially when the back half of his body has morphed into a coffee mug.

Great, now we can knock “censoring a picture of Santa’s dong” off our bucket list.

The two elderly men/coffee mug fetishists in our readership will be disappointed to learn that there’s something…wrong with Santa’s schlong. We can’t quite explain it, in part because we don’t want to spend too much time analyzing Santa’s genitals, but it doesn’t look like a penis should. Also, poor Santa appears to have been castrated, though considering his testicles would otherwise be rubbing up against a mug of hot coffee, that may be just as well.

So, not only was someone reduced to designing Santa’s boner for a paycheck, they couldn’t even do it right. His parents must be so proud.

6. String Dolls

Not every off-putting decoration is that way on purpose. The String Doll Gang, despite sounding like a criminal organisation of elderly knitters, are meant to be innocent ornaments. The only problem is that they look creepy as all Hell.

Yikes. The off-centre eyes are giving her a serious case of “crazy old lady.” This is something the evil mother from Coraline would make.

Then there’s the Little Angel, which has more of a Blair Witch Project vibe:

Not only does he look terrifying, they wrote the worst description imaginable. He watches over you when you’re alone, kids—and then he’ll open his mouth, the one that resides in another dimension, and suck out your soul.

5. Caroler Candles

Here’s another example of bad design corrupting innocent intent:

Their open mouths are supposed to imply that they’re caroling, but their horror struck eyes betray the awful truth: they’re screaming an endless, silent scream. Why? Their freaking heads are on fire, that’s why.

So turn off the lights, snuggle up with some hot chocolate, and watch two children’s heads melt as they stare back at you in indescribable agony, begging for mercy that will not come.

4. S&M Santa

“Hey, that 50 Shades of Grey book sure is popular. We should try to cash in on that.”

“Bob, we make Christmas ornaments. How can we possibly combine that with S&M?”

“Easily! See?”

“Wha… what does Santa being sexually tortured have to do with Christmas?”

“He only works one night a year. He and Mrs. Claus have a lot of free time on their hands; they have to entertain themselves somehow.”

“I don’t think I can sell this with a clean conscience. It’s like you’ve taken my fond Christmas memories and sodomized them.”

“ Sodomized, huh? Great idea! We could sell a whole line of these!”

“Get help, Bob.”

3. Santa’s Rude Present

Hey, remember that dog poop ornament? Bet you thought that was the only poop decoration you could buy, didn’t you? Oh poor, naïve reader. How we envy your childlike innocence.

This Christmas log is from Santa himself. It comes with a card of a smiling Saint Nick saying “you’ve been naughty,” although that hardly justifies him using your tree as a bathroom. Also available in festive red and green, or with cookie *ugh* chunks. “All kinds of fun things you can do with this unique gift,” we’re told. And they’re right—you could pervert your office’s Secret Santa, traumatize a child who still believes in the jolly old man, or bring it to Christmas dinner as a not-so-subtle commentary on what you think of your family. There are countless ways to ruin the holidays with this!

2. Gingerbread “Pornaments”

“Wouldn’t it be great if gingerbread men came with huge tits?” asked a boy just starting puberty who somehow became the head of a Christmas decoration company. That’s the only scenario we can think of that led to the creation of anatomically correct gingerbread ornaments.

He’s a real man now.

Okay, that’s probably not what happened. But the brainstorming session that produced these is depressing to imagine. “Kids love gingerbread decorations, but to get adults to like them too we need to sex them up,” said someone. “We want them to think, ‘Yeah, if I was a gingerbread person, I would hit that.’” And then other people agreed with this person, and Christmas became a little less magical.

1. Penis Decorations

And now, a selection of Christmas penises. Hang a few on your tree, because there’s no faster way to tell people that you’re a rapist:

Or get yourself a temporary Christmas dick tattoo, because there’s no faster way to tell people that you’re an insane rapist.

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